


But Patrocles Died First

by Morgana_avalon



Category: Alexander (2004)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 20:19:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18373364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana_avalon/pseuds/Morgana_avalon
Summary: Patrocles died when he took Achilles' place at the siege of Troy. Will Hephaistion fall into the same fate when he is called upon to lead the army in Alexander's stead?





	But Patrocles Died First

Author's notes:  
1\. I remembered the line from the film 'but Patrocles died first…' and then I wondered what would happen if Alexander were unable to fight and he had to send Hephaistion into battle instead. Would he fear for Hephaistion's life?  
2\. I found three ways to write the name Patrocles: Patrocles, Patroclus, and Patroklos… so I had to make a decision… I will use Patrocles.

 

But Patrocles Died First…

"You can't fight like that, Alexander. You can't use your sword arm and, as long as that fever you're running makes you feel light-headed, you can't lead the army into battle." Hephaistion had never shied away from telling Alexander the truth before and he wasn't going to start now. 

Alexander pushed himself back into the pillows which Bagoas had piled into a corner of his tent. He rested on several furs as well, but he still felt far from comfortable. Hephaistion was right of course. He had been negligent in defending himself during his last attack and had sustained a grave wound to his shoulder, which thusly had robbed him of the use of his sword arm. To complicate matters, an infection had settled into the wound, making him feverish. At this point, it had become impossible for him to remain on his feet for long. His soldiers, although knowing that he had been injured, hadn't been told just how grave his injury really was. The army was close to launching the decisive attack against their enemy and needed Alexander to lead them into battle.

"What do you want us to do, Alexander? Fall back and retreat?" Hephaistion, who was seated on the ground next to his lover, wondered if Alexander was going to do the sensible thing and award their enemy this victory. "I don't want you to go into battle when you are feeling like this. You can't even raise a sword, let alone defend yourself against the enemy!" He was worried that Alexander would die if he launched this attack. 

Alexander shook his head. "Falling back isn't an option, Hephaistion. We have come so far! If we win this battle these lands will be ours. I will expand my empire and invading India will become much easier if we can control the lands behind us." 

Alexander's hands shook and the tremors caused more pain in his injured shoulder. His doctor had left the wound partly exposed so the puss could get out and wouldn't poison Alexander further. Although his physician was confident that Alexander would recover in time, he had also warned him not to go into battle just yet. What Alexander needed foremost was rest.

"Maybe we need more time? We can postpone the attack and stay here until you have recovered." Hephaistion felt worried at seeing the intensely feverish expression in Alexander's eyes and the layer of sweat that had formed on Alexander's skin as the body tried to fight off the infection. Those things should tell Alexander to rest and not to plan another attack!

"We can't do that," Alexander answered in a weakened voice. His Generals were already riling up the soldiers and preparing them to do battle the next day. "I have to lead them. I have to ride up front." Alexander tried to push himself to his feet, but failed miserably. Disgusted with his weakened state, he was forced to accept Hephaistion's help so he could lower himself back onto the pillows again. But, he wasn't going to give up. "The army is ready to take them on and the soldiers expect to do battle tomorrow." 

Hephaistion noticed the hoarse tone to Alexander's voice and reached for a goblet filled with watered down wine. He supported his lover when Alexander reached for the drink. "Sip." Alexander wrapped his fingers around the goblet, but the tremors worsened and Hephaistion had to place his hand atop his lover's to help him drink without spilling the wine. "Maybe Crateros can lead the army?" Crateros had commanded the army before and seemed a good choice. "Or maybe Cleitus?"

But Alexander stubbornly shook his head. "The soldiers need to see me. Crateros or Cleitus' presence isn't good enough." Once he had emptied the goblet, Alexander closed his eyes and tried to rest. He hated his body for taking so long to heal. His mind was already planning their next campaign, but his stupid body was keeping him from carrying out his future plans. They *had* to conquer these lands before they could venture into India. He couldn't risk having the enemy behind him. 

"Alexander, you will die if you lead the army tomorrow." Hephaistion was brutally honest with his lover. "You aren't strong enough to defend yourself in the upcoming battle." Although Alexander no longer needed the support, Hephaistion continued to gently hold him and savored the moment – the close contact.

Alexander was still considering his options. He couldn't retreat, that was a fact. He had to lead his men into battle, that was another fact, but the problem was that he was still too weak to do so! Was there a solution to his problem? And if there was one, what was it? Why couldn't he think of one? His eyes slid shut – even thinking exhausted him further.

"Alexander, are you still awake?" Now that Alexander's eyes had closed, Hephaistion had no way of telling if his lover was still awake or already asleep. He hoped Alexander was asleep for then his lover might stop thinking about his problems for a moment. Sleep would also bring oblivion and would help Alexander heal.

"Read to me, Hephaistion," Alexander commanded in a soft voice, crushing Hephaistion's hope that he had dozed off. "Read to me about Troy." His eyes opened and he raised his good hand to point at the chest in the corner of his tent. "It's in there."

Hephaistion knew which book Alexander was referring to. There was only one story that fascinated Alexander and Hephaistion's expression became soft and tender while uncovering "The Iliad" from the chest. He carefully stretched out on his side next to Alexander and, after making certain that his lover was still awake, opened the book and began to read from it. 

Hephaistion's warm and sensual voice echoed through the tent and relaxed Alexander further, who began to dream of heroes long dead.

The sire of gods and men smiled and answered, "If you, Juno, were always to support me when we sit in council of the gods, Neptune, like it or no, would soon come round to your and my way of thinking. If, then, you are speaking the truth and mean what you say, go among the rank and file of the gods, and tell Iris and Apollo lord of the bow, that I want them- Iris, that she may go to the Achaean host and tell Neptune to leave off fighting and go home, and Apollo, that he may send Hector again into battle and give him fresh strength; he will thus forget his present sufferings, and drive the Achaeans back in confusion till they fall among the ships of Achilles son of Peleus. Achilles will then send his comrade Patroclus into battle, and Hector will kill him in front of Ilius after he has slain many warriors, and among them my own noble son Sarpedon. Achilles will kill Hector to avenge Patroclus, and from that time I will bring it about that the Achaeans shall persistently drive the Trojans back till they fulfill the counsels of Minerva and take Ilius. 

Alexander, who had begun to doze off due to Hephaistion's soothing familiar voice, suddenly opened his eyes and stared at his lover. He had found the answer to his problems! "Hephaistion, stop reading and listen to me!" His fatigue had vanished and he felt energetic. He *had* to share his idea with his lover right now!

Alexander's sudden alertness troubled Hephaistion and the excited glow in Alexander's eyes made him worry that the fever had gotten worse. He placed "The Iliad" aside and rested a hand on Alexander's brow to check his lover's temperature. 

Hephaistion knew how much it frustrated Alexander to be injured like this. Alexander wasn't used to being passive and preferred to be up and about as much as he could. "What's going on in that head of yours? I have seen that look before." Had Alexander not been injured, he would be pacing the confines of his tent in agitation, but all his lover could do now was to give him a look full of exhilaration.

"*You* will lead the army in my place, Hephaistion. You are a bit more muscular than I am, but my armor should fit you!" Alexander excitedly nodded his head. "The men only need to see someone who looks like me." Yes, this would work! He was certain of that! 

Hephaistion stared at Alexander as if his lover had lost his mind. "Alexander, if this fever continues to rise then…"

Alexander cut Hephaistion short. "This has nothing to do with the fact that I'm running a fever, Hephaistion. You will take my place. You will dress like me, act like me, and fight like me. You know me best, Hephaistion. You are the only one who can do this!" 

Hephaistion remained unconvinced. "Yes, your armor might fit me, but they will never believe I am you." He would never be able to mirror the way Alexander carried himself.

"You will have to try your best, of course, make a *real* effort to pass for me, but I am certain that you can do it!" Alexander slid his fingers into Hephaistion's hair and pulled at the strands. "Hephaistion, you *are* my Patrocles, aren't you?" 

Hephaistion didn't like the direction their conversation was heading in. "But Patrocles died at Troy, Alexander. He died because he took Achilles' place. He dressed in Achilles' armor, lead the Myrmidons into battle, and was slain, Alexander." Alexander's absurd plan couldn't possibly work. The Companions would know it was Hephaistion trying to pass himself off for Alexander. It wouldn't work! It couldn't work!

"But there is a huge difference between you and Patrocles!" Alexander's eyes refused to relinquish their passionate expression and burned his lover with their conviction. "I will prepare you! We will discuss all possible maneuvers the enemy can carry out on the battlefield and, no matter what will happen, you will be prepared! You will know what to do! You will not only survive, Hephaistion, more than that, you will emerge victorious!" He cursed the fact that he couldn't shake some sense into his lover. Why couldn't Hephaistion see that his plan would work? "Bucephalus will carry you! You have ridden him before! He never threw you off and he will accept you as his rider when you head into battle!"

Hephaistion wished he hadn't read that particular section of "The Iliad" to his lover. Alexander wouldn't have thought of this insane plan if he hadn't. "The men will notice that it's me and not you. I don't have your appeal, Alexander. Trust me, they will notice!"

"No, they won't!" Alexander hissed in pain when he made a sudden movement. His injury once more reminded him why he had to send Hephaistion into battle in his stead. "All you need to do is to ride along the front line and act like me! They will think you are me and they will follow you into battle. All you have to do is stay alive!"

"All I have to do is stay alive…" Hephaistion knew perfectly well that he would make an excellent target. The enemy knew that Alexander had been injured and would attack him furiously, as they would want to take him out once and for all. "Alexander, I'm not you. I don't possess your fighting skills or your strategic insights. What will happen if they make a move we didn't discuss? What if I crumble under their attack? I would take our army down with me!"

"Have some faith in yourself, Hephaistion! You have fought alongside me for many years and your fighting skills kept you alive so far. At least this time, you won't have to worry about watching my back." Alexander was convinced that his scheme would work, if only he could convince his lover to go along with it. Maybe he had to play a little dirty in order to get what he wanted. "You always said that you were my Patrocles, Hephaistion. If you meant that… if you ever loved me, then you will do this for me – for the army – for us!" He wasn't fighting fair, but he needed Hephaistion to understand and to do this for him. 

Hephaistion sighed. "Can't I convince you to use someone else instead?" He doubted his ability to lead the army for a valid reason. Alexander tended to keep him away from the battlefield and, when he did get a command, it was always a shared command. One of the senior Companions would make all of the vital decisions. 

"Who? Crateros? He can't pass for me. Neither can Antigonus or any of the other Companions. Even if they fit into my armor, Bucephalus would never allow them onto his back. And even more importantly, they don't know how to act like me. You do." Alexander gave Hephaistion a hopeful look. He fingered a strand of Hephaistion's long, auburn hair and said, "The helmet will hide your hair from view. We will have to put it up, but that shouldn't be a problem." He nodded his head again; he could already picture the way Hephaistion would look when wearing his armor and helmet.

"Alexander, this won't work!" Hephaistion was growing desperate. Why wouldn't Alexander listen to him?

"It will… You only need to be careful not to stare at the same person for too long. Those blue eyes will give you away. If they see those blue eyes they will know that you are Hephaistion and not Alexander." 

Hephaistion had realized by now that he would be unable to change Alexander's mind and resigned himself to the situation. He still didn't like the plan though. "Are you going to tell the Companions about your plan?"

Alexander slowly shook his head. The pain that radiated from his shoulder was now also traveling up his neck. "No, I won't. They might hesitate to follow you into battle. I can't take that risk." His Companions – all of his men – had to believe it was the King leading the attack.

Hephaistion swallowed hard; his nervousness was still growing. "What if I fail, Alexander? What if I fail you and lose the battle?" He knew how limited his fighting skills were, how minimal his strategic expertise. 

"You won’t, Hephaistion. You won't fail me. I have faith in you." Alexander caressed his lover's face and then trailed the outline of Hephaistion's bottom lip with a fingertip. "You are better than Patrocles, Hephaistion. You can do this. You will emerge the victor."

"The Generals will notice that I am not you." Hephaistion was desperately trying to think of ways to get through to his lover. "Won't they notice that Hephaistion isn't at Alexander's side?"

"I don't plan on giving them much time to think, Hephaistion. Everything will happen within mere seconds." Alexander felt pleased now that he had come up with this plan. "I want you to try my armor on right now." If it didn't fit, he had to abandon his plan.

Hephaistion reluctantly complied. He got up from the ground and put Alexander's armor on. It fit, even though it was a little bit too small for him, but Alexander reckoned no one would notice. His Generals wouldn't get any time to worry. "Put my helmet on."

Hephaistion wavered this time. "Alexander, must I really do this?" It almost felt sacrilegious, wearing Alexander's armor.

Growing more excited now that the armor fit, Alexander said, "Do it, Hephaistion!" Alexander had managed to push himself into a seated position and devoured the sight before him. Yes, now that his helmet obscured Hephaistion's hair, his lover could pass for him. "It will do. They will think you are me." Now that his curiosity had been sated, Alexander gave his lover permission to remove armor and helmet and to return to his side.

Feeling relieved, Hephaistion quickly removed Alexander's helmet and armor. He didn't feel worthy of wearing it. 

"Come, sit with me. We need to discuss the upcoming battle." Hephaistion didn't excel at battle tactics, but Alexander was confident that he could prepare Hephaistion in such a way that his lover would be able to counteract their enemy's maneuvers. Yes, he was certain of it; Hephaistion would win this battle for him!

~~~

"Your master has lost his mind." Hephaistion mumbled the words into Bucephalus' ear. He was rubbing the mighty warhorse's nose and the stallion had moved closer to him, eager to be petted. "Sometimes I wonder if Alexander has read "The Iliad" too many times. Does he really think he is Achilles?" Their 'I am your Patrocles,' and "I am your Achilles' had started off as a childhood game, but had turned serious later on. 

Hephaistion slid his hand along the stallion's neck and then resolutely jumped onto the horse's broad back. Bucephalus tensed beneath him for one long moment, but did not throw him off. The stallion scraped his hoof over the earth and moved forward. None of Alexander's pages dared to approach the stallion and so Bucephalus always had the freedom to move about as he pleased. Now that he had a rider on his back, the war horse was eager to run. 

Hephaistion let him, knowing they had to move as one tomorrow. Alexander and Bucephalus always presented a unity to the army and he had to give the same impression tomorrow. /I can't believe I'm actually going along with his plan./ But what choice did he have?

Hephaistion buried his fingers in Bucephalus' mane and pressed his heels into the horse's flanks. Night had long fallen over the camp; it was pitch black and no one saw him steer Bucephalus away from the camp. 

No one, but Bagoas.

~~~

"Bagoas?" Alexander had just awoken from a dream-filled sleep. He blinked his eyes several times, trying to clear his head. "Water…"

Bagoas immediately presented him with water and Alexander greedily downed it. "Where is Hephaistion?" Alexander had long realized Bagoas' 'talents'. The younger man might act silent and draw little attention, but Bagoas knew everything that went on in the camp. The only thing that mystified Alexander was that he didn't know just *how* Bagoas accomplished that. 

"I saw him jump onto Bucephalus' back and take off." Bagoas assisted Alexander to acquire a more comfortable position amidst the pillows and then checked on the wound. There was no new puss emerging from the wound and the injury seemed to be healing. But that realization didn't stop Bagoas from applying the salve the doctor had left behind. He gently rubbed it onto the affected area. 

Alexander knew better than to feign ignorance. "You overheard us discuss my plan." Bagoas was always close, eavesdropping, and gathering information. 

Bagoas nodded his head once. "I did."

"Do you think it will work?"

"Yes, I do." Bagoas sat cross-legged beside Alexander and probed his King's eyes. "Hephaistion can pass for you."

"But?" Alexander valued Bagoas' opinion in this matter. He had found before that Bagoas could bring interesting details into a discussion which would never have occurred to him otherwise. 

"You can't let him address the army. He will have to appear in a flash."

"I agree."

"How are you going to accomplish that, Al'skander?"

Alexander merely grinned. "Let me worry about that, Bagoas." But then his grin faded and he gave Bagoas a serious look. "You can tell no one, Bagoas. This plan will only succeed if we manage to keep it a secret."

"I will tell no one, Al'skander." Bagoas gave Alexander a seductive smile. "Will my services be required tomorrow?"

Alexander's grin returned. "Yes, you have to help Hephaistion dress himself. Also, make certain that not a single hair shows from beneath the helmet." Alexander paused, thought things over, and then added, "It might help create a more believable illusion if he also wears my cloak." Alexander had already planned everything and was now about to give Bagoas his instructions. "Let the news leak out that I'm feeling better and that I will need our army tomorrow. Also let our soldiers know – very subtly, of course – that I am not strong enough to hold a speech, but that I *will* lead them into battle." Bagoas would get that rumor started in such a way that the whole army would know that he was faring better when the morning came.

~~~

Hephaistion rubbed Bucephalus dry and made certain the stallion had enough food and water for the night. "I will see you in the morning, my friend." Knowing Alexander, Hephaistion suspected his lover would want to launch his attack early.

~~~

He made his way back to Alexander's tent and walked up to where his lover was resting. Alexander's eyes were open and alert, but his face was pale and sweat shimmered on his brow. 

"Ah, there you are." Alexander raised his good hand and waited for Hephaistion to take his place at his side. "I can't move any closer to you…" Moving about would hurt him too much and so Hephaistion sat down close to him. "Bagoas told me that you took Bucephalus for a ride."

"Bagoas knows too much." Hephaistion didn't see the eunuch anywhere, but was fairly certain that Bagoas heard every word they were exchanging right now. 

"Bucephalus gave you no trouble?" Hephaistion being able to ride his stallion without any reservations was vital to his plans. 

"He accepts me… But I don't know how he will react when carrying me into battle." Hephaistion gently stroked Alexander's hair and pressed a kiss onto his lover's brow. "You should rest, not talk."

"There is so much we still need to discuss!” Before Hephaistion had left, they had discussed battle strategies, but Alexander wanted to go through them again. "You need to know what to do when the enemy launches a surprise attack, Hephaistion."

"Then tell me." Hephaistion knew that he wouldn't be able to change Alexander's mind and, now that his lover was making him follow through with this plan, he had better be prepared.

~~~

"Stand still." Bagoas was struggling to hide Hephaistion's long hair beneath Alexander's helmet and Hephaistion wasn't helping, nervously shuffling his feet and thus sabotaging his attempt to deal with the unruly hair.

"Hephaistion, do as he says," Alexander ordered, enjoying directing the scene a bit too much. "We can't take the risk of your hair tumbling down." He chuckled, but the movement caused the pain to flare in his shoulder and he was once more reminded that he was sending Hephaistion into a very dangerous battle in his stead. He had gotten himself injured; if even Alexander the Great couldn't keep himself safe, who said Hephaistion would return to him without injury? /What if he won't return to me? What if he will die? Like Patrocles did?/ Alexander grew tense and suddenly wondered if he should follow through with his plan, but did he have a choice? No. 

"Done." Bagoas took a step away from Hephaistion and checked his handiwork. "The only thing that will give you away are your eyes." Vivid blue eyes shone from beneath the helmet. 

Hephaistion drew in a deep breath. "Alexander, it's not too late yet to reconsider." It wasn't that he feared for his life as much as he feared he would disappoint Alexander and their men. He was no leader – he was content to ride and fight alongside his lover.

"Bagoas, leave us. I want to speak with Hephaistion in private." Alexander needed a moment alone with his lover. Bagoas left and Alexander gestured for Hephaistion to approach. 

Hephaistion lowered himself onto his heels beside Alexander and looked deeply into his lover's eyes. He saw faith, confidence, trust, but also fear there. "What worries you?"

"That you might not return to me. I don't want to think of your death, but…" Alexander raised his good hand and touched Hephaistion's face. Now that his lover was wearing his armor, cloak, and helmet, there weren't that many places left he could touch and still feel skin beneath his fingertips. "Promise me that you will come back to me, Hephaistion."

Hephaistion had grown nervous at hearing his lover's words and tried to avoid Alexander's gaze, but another caress bestowed onto his cheek made him look his lover in the eye. "I can make that promise, but I don't know if the gods will allow me keep it."

"Hephaistion, I…" Cursing the fact that his injury kept him from leading his men into battle himself, he very slowly and carefully sat upright and briefly pressed his upper body against his lover's. He couldn't stay in that position for long though as his shoulder started to throb. "If you fall, I will follow you into death. You know that."

Hephaistion moistened his lips, feeling emotional after hearing that admission. "Then I have a very good reason to stay alive."

"Go and make me proud, my Hephaistion." Alexander had almost called him 'my Patrocles', but he had reconsidered at the last moment. Patrocles had died when he had taken his lover's place, Hephaistion wouldn’t – Hephaistion would succeed where Patrocles had failed.

~~~

Hephaistion gripped the reins hard. Bucephalus had once more accepted him as his rider and Hephaistion was careful not to raise his glance to the Companions. Instead, he did as Alexander had instructed, raised his sword, released a battle cry, and dug his heels into the stallion's flanks. 

Bucephalus broke into a gallop and took him quickly to the front line. The soldiers surrounding him released a load roar and then banged their swords against their shields in greeting. Hephaistion felt the energy surge coming toward him, originating from the soldiers, and raised his voice even louder. The red feathers of his plume showed the soldiers where he was located and they followed him downhill to meet the enemy. 

Next to him appeared Cleitus. The General called out to him, but Hephaistion remembered Alexander's warnings not to engage in any conversation and ignored Cleitus for now. With one eye, he observed the enemy who was now moving forward in one smooth sweep. With the other, he evaluated the position of his army and gave the sign for their left wing to move forward. Alexander's strategies always worked well, and both men had seen no reason to abandon them now.

One quick look told Hephaistion that their left wing was pushing the enemy toward their center. That way, the enemy would be crushed in between them, like a hammer crashing down upon an anvil.

Hephaistion came upon the enemy, raised his sword, and did his best to emulate Alexander's fighting style, but he found it hard to force himself to move in a way he normally wouldn't. He was smart enough to realize that it might get him killed and returned to his own style of fighting. One look cast from over his shoulder at his army told him that the soldiers were doing their best to crush the enemy. They had accepted him as Alexander and his passionate charge had given them the motivation to fight to the end. The most important part of his work was done. Now, he only had to make certain that he survived the battle.

~~~

"Al'skander?" Bagoas knelt beside Alexander and placed a bowl filled with sliced fruit next to his King. Alexander looked worried and was definitely brooding. The expression in the brown eyes wasn't as much feverish as it was concerned. /He worries about Hephaistion./

"What did I do, Bagoas? I sent Hephaistion into battle and…" He wasn't used to being helpless and confined to bed. "I need to be out there, fighting, leading them!" But he couldn't. His injury wouldn't let him. /Is this how the women feel when their husbands leave to fight in my wars?/ That was a disturbing thought. 

"Tell me that he will survive, Bagoas. Tell me that he will return to me… whole and alive."

Intent on comforting his upset King, Bagoas did just that and whispered the words Alexander needed to hear so badly.

~~~

Cleitus wondered what exactly was different about Alexander. Something *was* different, but he eventually contributed the change in Alexander's fighting style to Alexander's injuries, which were said to be still healing. 

Alexander had charged the enemy like he always did: catapulting himself into their midst and the Companions had followed their King's example. Like he was used to doing, Cleitus watched his King's back and that made him notice another puzzling fact: Hephaistion was nowhere in sight. Normally, Hephaistion rode alongside Alexander and defended his King and lover against the enemy. How odd.

Cleitus hissed as he saw Alexander was letting down his guard in order to defend himself to another attacker. That left Alexander wide open for an attack coming from the right and Cleitus quickly moved forward. Positioning himself between the enemy and Alexander, he managed to do away with the threat, but then… then Alexander looked at him… looked him straight in the eye… and Cleitus suddenly realized the truth, seeing that those eyes were blue and not brown. 

/Hephaistion! That's Hephaistion and not Alexander!/ But what was Hephaistion doing on Bucephalus' back and leading their army? Cleitus realized the truth a moment later. /Alexander is still too injured to lead the army himself! He must have come up with this plan and Hephaistion agreed to carrying it out!/ 

"Alexander! They changed the direction they are marching in! What should we do?" Antigonus, who was in charge of Alexander's left flank, called out to his King, needing orders.

Hephaistion froze on Bucephalus' back and took in the scene before him. The enemy was moving his troops in a way which Alexander hadn't discussed with him. What was he supposed to do now?

Cleitus sucked in his breath. Alexander would know what to do, but did Hephaistion know as well? 

Hephaistion had to make his decision in seconds and then called out his answer to Antigonus. The General blinked at hearing the order and then bared his teeth. Yes, that might work!

The army launched another attack and this time it was aimed at the enemy's center. The enemy, which had been attacking Alexander's left flank, was now forced to retreat and to solidify the center, which was increasingly being weakened by the renewed attack. 

~~~

"Shouldn't the battle be over yet, Bagoas? Why is it taking them so long?" Alexander gnashed his teeth. His hands clawed at the pillows.

"They have only been fighting for one hour now, Al'skander. Most battles last much longer." He handed Alexander a cup of herbal tea, which he had brewed in the hope that the chamomile might settle Alexander's nerves.

"What if he dies, Bagoas? What if my Patrocles dies?"

Bagoas remained quiet. He didn't have the answer to that question.

~~~

Hephaistion concentrated on fighting the enemy and tried to ignore the fact that Cleitus had recognized him. He felt grateful that the other man allowed for the illusion to stay intact and that Cleitus wasn't exposing him to the other Companions. They were winning the battle, and he only needed to keep the illusion intact for a few more minutes. 

~~~

Cleitus continued to watch Hephaistion's back and realized soon enough that Hephaistion had led them to victory. The enemy surrendered, threw down their weapons, and pleaded for mercy. Cleitus shot Hephaistion a quick look and said, "You are the King. Will you give them mercy or death?"

Hephaistion startled at hearing Cleitus address him as his King. "Mercy… There has been enough killing today." He exchanged another look with Cleitus and then steered Bucephalus away from the Companions. He was fortunate that only Cleitus had seen through the deception and not the other Companions as well. 

Hearing the soldiers cheer him on, Hephaistion did as Alexander would. He raised his sword, called out to them in victory, and continued to ride back toward their camp – back to Alexander.

~~~

"Alexander…" Hephaistion stormed into his lover's tent and flung himself at Alexander. During the heat of battle, he had been afraid that he would never see his beloved Alexander again and he had to touch his lover's face in order to convince himself that they were both alive.

"You survived! The gods protected you! I knew they would." In spite of his brave words, Alexander felt more relieved than anything. He had been scared that Hephaistion might die and had prayed to the gods during the duration of the fight. He leaned into the caress Hephaistion bestowed onto his face and placed his hands on either side of the helmeted head.

Together, they removed the helmet and Hephaistion quickly gathered Alexander in his arms. He made certain that he stayed clear of his lover's injuries, but he still managed to press himself close to Alexander. "Please, don't ever ask me to ride out in your stead again."

"But you did well! We won and you're still alive. Look at you! Not a scratch!" Alexander rested his head against Hephaistion's armored shoulder and finally calmed down. He had so been afraid to lose Hephaistion. "I told you that you were a better warrior than Patrocles ever was. Patrocles died, you didn’t."

Hephaistion didn't reply; he was simply too happy that he hadn't disappointed Alexander... that he had lived up to his lover's expectations. He just hoped that Alexander would never demand this sacrifice from him again.

~~~

Alexander tenderly stroked his lover's hair. After the excitement of the battle had worn off, Hephaistion had fallen asleep. He was still wearing his armor, but looked comfortable enough so Alexander hadn't bothered trying to remove it. 

Hephaistion had fallen asleep with his head resting on Alexander's thigh. Snuggling up to each other was a bad idea right now, as his moving about could jostle Alexander's shoulder and Hephaistion had refused to take that risk. 

Alexander had never enjoyed running his fingers through Hephaistion's hair more than now. When he had devised this deception, he hadn't really considered the fact that Hephaistion could die. He had been *so* convinced that Hephaistion was better than Patrocles that he had just proceeded. He still thanked the gods that Hephaistion had returned to him unharmed.

"You should have told me, Alexander." 

Hearing Cleitus' voice made Alexander look up. His fingers however continued their perpetual journey through the auburn hair. He had suspected that one of his Companions would see through the deceit and he wasn't surprised to find it was Cleitus who had deduced the truth. "Why, Cleitus? Why should I have confided in you?" The expression in Cleitus' eyes was hard to label, so Alexander remained alert.

"I could have protected him better if I had known it was Hephaistion and not Alexander leading the army." Cleitus watched the two of them closely – the way they were touching. Hephaistion had wrapped an arm around Alexander's knee, which he was using as a cushion and Alexander continued to run his fingers through the hair. He had never seen them this intimate before. Normally, Hephaistion and Alexander were very careful not to show their love in public. This little scene helped him put everything in perspective and it clarified their loving relationship to him. 

"Is that true? Or would you have intervened if you had known? Would you have told the others and have revolted against Hephaistion?" 

Cleitus' eyes narrowed. "Do you think that little of me?" Alexander's expression remained observant, which led Cleitus to believe that the fever was finally fading. He decided against answering Alexander's questions. Instead, he said, "Hephaistion did well, Alexander. He led the men cunningly. He charged the enemy and flung himself into battle just like you did."

"I am very proud of him." Alexander's fingertips massaged Hephaistion's scalp and, due to the touch, Hephaistion rubbed his cheek against Alexander's knee in a show of affection. Even in his sleep he reacted to Alexander's touch.

Cleitus then said, "There was one moment when I feared for him. The enemy carried out an unexpected counter offensive and I wasn't certain Hephaistion knew what to do, but he made the right decision and bought us victory. He awarded the enemy mercy. We disarmed them and their leader will recognize you as his superior. You have secured these lands."

"No, Hephaistion did." Alexander curled his fingers around his lover's and gently squeezed them. Looking at Cleitus, Alexander said, "No one can ever know that it was Hephaistion and not Alexander who achieved victory today. No one save you and I, Cleitus. The men can never know the truth. Not even the Generals."

Cleitus nodded his head. "My lips are sealed." Hephaistion had gained his respect that day and he would never underestimate the younger man again. "I will leave the two of you alone now." The tender expression in Alexander's eyes told him that his King wanted his privacy.

Once they were alone again, Alexander caressed Hephaistion's brow with his fingertips. "Achilles went insane after Patrocles died and I thank the gods that I do not have to mourn your death like he did." Leaning in closer, Alexander carefully pressed a kiss onto the crown of Hephaistion's head. "You made me proud… so very, very proud…" 

The end


End file.
